Tales from Falsidehill

The nightly adventures of James

The other night James and I said ‘to hell with our 9pm tea curfew!’ We were both feeling thirsty and peckish at 10pm so we decided to have tea and toast (this is the extent of our devilishness these days). Well, I was quickly reminded of why we set that curfew! At 1.30am, I awoke in a state of horror to what felt like some kind of earthquake. I soon figured out that only the bed was shaking, and not the rest of the house, and that my husband was lying face down on the bed, slamming his legs up and down like some kind of weird sea lion/human hybrid, shouting ‘don’t worry, I think we’ve got them now!’ Once I realised what was going on (not that I understood it) – and after I listened to this madness and laughed to myself for a while – I checked the clock, got annoyed at the ungodly hour and tried to wake James up. He continued to slam his legs around even though he assured me he was fully awake. Eventually he stopped, my heart rate went back to normal and I actually managed to get back to sleep.

Last night, we did not break our tea curfew but we did each have a glass of wine. Then at some unknown time in the middle of the night, James felt it necessary to get up and carefully take one of our pictures off the wall and put it on the floor. He put it back on the wall this morning, explaining that at the time there was a very important reason he had to take it down but he couldn’t remember what it was! That’s the most annoying thing about these crazy night adventures; he can never remember what any of them were about!!

Apart from the fun of interrupted sleep, I have been trying to get on with decorating my living room. I’m doing pretty well I think. I have no idea if I will get it finished in time for my visitors next week – I still have the ‘feature wall’ to line and paper – but I’m going to try!

My current ‘decorating tune’ is Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Never Miss a Beat’. I don’t normally like them but I love this song. The lyrics are funny: ‘What do you want for tea? I want crisps!’

Spiralling & painting

Here’s what I’ll be listening to today when I’m painting the living room (in between the omnibus Gilmore Girls episodes):

Failure as a wife/human

Have a Moan Monday

I’m certainly in the mood for a moan today. What a crappy day! Well, this morning, I got this weird flash in my eye (I’ve had similar before but the optician assured me there was nothing wrong), and that led me into an ‘oh my god I’m going blind or I’ve got a brain tumour or I’m going to die any minute now’ panic. Since then I’ve sort of felt groggy/headachy. Maybe it’s some kind of migraine? Although I know what a migraine is as I used to get them as a teenager and the headaches were probably one of the worst pains I’ve ever felt, and this isn’t quite like that. Google says not to worry, so I’m keeping calm about it.

That was quite moan worthy, wasn’t it? My second moan for today is my insane appetite. Yes, apparently it’s that time of the month when my hunger is never satisfied. My third moan is that there is hardly any food in the house!!!!! Considering the second moan I just mentioned, this is quite tragic!!! It’s all my own fault of course – as always. For some reason I forgot many of the main ingredients for all my meals when I did my last food shop, so we haven’t had enough food to last us. All this week I have been trying to make up meals from strange ingredients. I also seem to have run out of all the normal things extremely early (like milk, bread and cheese), which is making me extremely moany. Luckily, James is going to stop off at a shop on the way home to stock up on some essentials (pizza) before my food delivery comes tomorrow.

All of this trauma has led to my lack of energy today and therefore I have managed to get an extremely pathetic amount of decorating done. I’m such a failure as a wife/human.

As usual though, Gilmore Girls had me in absolute stitches. This is one of the cutest, loveliest kisses in TV history, followed by complete and utter hilarity! I truly love this programme!!!!!!!!!

Decorating

Snapshot Saturday

A meme!

Here’s a meme that Loth sort of tagged me for! This was a really tough one but enjoyable!

I am: sick of people saying ‘congradulations’ instead of ‘congratulations’. WHY?!?!?!

I think: about doing things more than I actually do them.

I know: that I don’t know much.

I have: good intentions.

I wish: I had more confidence in myself.

I hate: having hiccups. Hiccups make me extremely angry.

I miss: Dexter. The second series ended last week and it was one of the best things I have EVER watched in my life. Can’t wait for the next series.

I fear: change. But I know I can handle it.

I hear: my biological clock ticking. Loudly.

I smell: smells that aren’t really there. I often think I can smell gas, even out here in the country where we don’t have a gas supply.

I crave: cuddles from my doggy. They are the best cuddles ever (sorry James, doggy cuddles just can’t be beaten).

I search: Google daily for answers to all the many questions I have.

I wonder: what it would be like to be extroverted.

I regret: worrying so much about pointless things that really don’t matter (like what people think of me).

I love: writing. I want to write more but feel a bit useless at it.

I ache: if I drink wine. My legs get particularly achy – it’s weird.

I am not: as productive as I think I should be.

I believe: in the power of positive thinking but I still don’t often practice it.

I dance: when no-one is looking.

I sing: at the top of my voice, when there’s no-one around. I often worry that the neighbours can hear me but I carry on anyway.

I cry: happy tears whenever I see people getting engaged on TV. It reminds me of when James proposed to me.

I fight: the evil voice in the back of my mind when it tells me something bad is going to happen.

I win: at procrastinating. I really am champion at it!

I lose: hair-bands and kirby-grips. I must have gone through thousands in my lifetime. Where do they all go??

I never: thought I would ever eat beef after years as a strict vegetarian but now I love it. Cows, you are cute, but I’m sorry, you also taste niiiiice (especially in James’ chilli con carne).

I always: try to learn the lyrics to all the songs I like. It always surprises me that I remember the lyrics to songs I haven’t heard in years. I think my brain is 90% song lyrics and 10% other useless nonsense.

I confuse: James with my sarcasm. He still often has to check if I’m being serious or not.

I listen: to songs I like over and over and over until I am completely sick of them (or until James threatens to leave me).

I can usually be found: with a mug of tea in one hand and a TV remote in the other.

I am scared: that I’ll never do the things I really want to do.

I need: to get my act together.

I am happy about: the new series of Heroes starting this week! Peter looks hot!

I imagine: what it would be like to have smaller boobs. Shirt buttons would probably stay closed!