Tales from Falsidehill

Bleating

Last night my sleep was continually interrupted by the bleating of the new lambs in the paddock across from us. I remember this happened last year as well. The first few nights after they’re born, they make a big racket. They’re cute though, so I’ll forgive them. My lack of sleep doesn’t seem to have affected me though; today I started spring cleaning! For some reason I decided to clean the muddy paw prints off my front door that have been there for months, and I wiped down all the surrounding woodwork. Next I’m going to mop the floors. What’s wrong with me?

Lately I’ve been trying to make the best of what we have. It’s easy to get into the mindset of wanting things. I want new carpets, a new fireplace, better heating, double glazed windows, a new bathroom etc. I feel like it’s my right to have it all – I should have it all – and the fact that I don’t have it all makes me feel like a bit of a failure sometimes. Then I come back to reality and realise that I have the house I desperately wanted, I’m married to the best man in the world, I don’t have to work… The list of things I do have is endless.

I don’t consider myself easily swayed by adverts and I’m not a very materialistic person really. But I think I really have been affected by what I see on TV. I feel ashamed to even admit it but maybe it’s only natural for me to want what I see in adverts. I’ve believed them when they tell me I need these things to be happy. Most of the things I want are just luxuries; I don’t need any of it. These days it’s normal to just buy everything you want and pay for it later, but we can’t afford to do that anymore and it leaves me feeling a bit empty sometimes. But that’s so wrong, isn’t it?! To feel empty because you can’t buy things!!

Previously, I’ve left things as they are in the house, waiting to decorate each room properly. But now I’m thinking of how we can make things nice now, using what we already have. The other day I put up our pictures randomly and that made a huge difference. They’d been sitting around for a year and a half, when they could have been up on the walls. It doesn’t matter if they’re not in the right places or in the right frames. I’m slowly getting out of my ‘all or nothing’ mindset and it’s fun!