Tales from Falsidehill

Dear Body

BlogHer has a Letters to My Body initiative, so I’ve decided to take part.

Dear Body

We’ve had a rough 26 years. We were fine together for the first eight years; you were thin, you didn’t get spots and your hair was never greasy. In our eighth year things started to change and we started puberty. You grew boobs!! After that, I was ashamed of you and started to hide you in baggy clothes. I hated you for making me stand out. My friends wore bras because they wanted to feel grown up but I wore a bra for my own personal safety and the safety of others.

It doesn’t seem to matter what you look like, I always see things about you that I don’t like. The times when I have worked you out, I have seen great results. But my complacency and laziness always gets the better of me, and it’s not long before we end up back where we started. I’ll admit it to you though, the problem isn’t really you, the problem is the way I think about you; I never give you a break.

Maybe I expect too much of you. You’re a body; a complex and vulnerable machine that enables me to get around in this physical world. And as vulnerable as you are, you are extraordinarily robust. You would think that would be enough for me. You’ve never failed me, never broken, never caught more than a cold. Your senses are all in working order. You allow me to see the faces of the people I love, to hear their voices and listen to their stories. You let me relish their hugs. You may not have the most sophisticated palate but you know what a good cup of tea tastes like and that’s good enough for me.

One of the things I love most about you is your ability to hear music. It seems to flow through you and make you feel even more alive! Nothing connects us more than the music we listen to together.

Together we’re learning our limits. If I don’t get too mentally stressed, you won’t give me panic attacks. I’m sorry that I tense you up. I don’t know why I hunch your shoulders, clench your fists, clench your toes, clench your jaw, bite your lips or chew your fingers. But you do stupid things too like hiccupping really loudly in quiet public places. It might seem funny to you but I don’t appreciate it.

You do deserve to be treated better though. I keep making you promises I don’t keep. I say I’ll get you fit but somehow I end up convincing you to laze about. Maybe you’re equally to blame though as I often catch you eyeing up bad things like chocolate. Do you really want to get fatter? You’re still young but you’re not going to look like this forever. You’re going to get wrinkles and you might start to sag, and those grey hairs are only going to multiply. So I really think I should make the most of you now!

Oh yeah, I have this one favour to ask of you. Please would you give me a baby sometime soon? I know it’s going to be hard on you, we’re going to feel a lot of pain and you’re going to have to change in ways neither of us might like, but I assure you that it will be worth it. Actually, considering all the premenstrual crap you put me through, I think getting pregnant is your duty!

We kind of go together, don’t we? Neither of us could survive without the other. And, as much as I can find fault in you, there is absolutely no other body I would want to be in. I think we’re stuck together and it’s not so bad, is it?

Lots of love,
Lynsey

P.S. I’m well aware that you don’t like it when I eat cheese but I really like cheese so I’m afraid it’s just something we will have to agree to disagree on.

P.P.S Remember that time I cut your thumb open with a bread knife? We can laugh about it now, can’t we? Sorry about that.