The anti-shopper

Friday, 25th January 2008

My bout of blogger’s block has led me to look for inspiration for blog topics. ‘Lorelle on Wordpress’ does a weekly ‘Blog Challenge’ so I thought I’d do one.

Blog Challenge: Blog a shopping experience or your shopping expertise.

I have so many negative associations when it comes to shopping. Most of the time I can’t afford to buy whatever it is I’m buying so I always feel guilty, even if it’s an essential item (even food!). I get anxious in shops. I thought I was just being stupid or having some kind of social anxiety disorder but I read ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’ and realised that I’m… highly sensitive! The mixture of crowds, noise, lights and having to concentrate on buying something is just too much for me to handle!! I used to think it was something I needed to work on (and to a degree it is) but actually, now that I’ve accepted that I will get ‘over stimulated’ by things like shopping, eating-out, etc, I’ve calmed down about it. Generally I don’t go shopping unless I have to, and I do most of my shopping online, but when I do have to venture out, I don’t beat myself up about not being relaxed and happy like most other shoppers who seem to thrive on the experience.

Shopping for clothes is the worst type of shopping. I feel self-conscious and it can take me ages to bring my anxiety levels down enough to take in my surroundings and concentrate on buying something. My general (unhelpful) mindset is ‘I’m never going to find what I’m looking for’. Most of my purchases are made quickly and I’m never completely sure that I want what I’m buying. I hardly ever try clothes on before buying them anymore because I’ve had so many bad experiences in changing rooms. I’ve often cried in front of the mirrors for one reason or another. Never happy with the way I see myself and feeling like I don’t fit in or look fashionable like everyone else. Then when I get home, I often find that I don’t like what I’ve purchased but I never take anything back.

I’m not as bad at food shopping but I still experience anxiety in a busy supermarket. Tesco deliveries are my saviour! Why put yourself through a hectic supermarket visit when you can have all your groceries brought to your doorstep? Genius! I do wish I could enjoy shopping sometimes, and I think if my body image improves then I’ll feel excited about buying nice new clothes (if I can ever afford to!) and the excitement may outweigh the anxiety. But for now I’m enjoying the extreme lack of shopping in my life!

Posted in Introversion, Panics

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  1. 3 Responses to “The anti-shopper”

  2. By Loth on Jan 25, 2008

    I agree wholeheartedly that shopping for clothes, in particular, is NOT an enjoyable pastime. I tend to walk into a clothes shop and just be stopped in my tracks by the choice. So many clothes, how the hell am I supposed to know what to pick up, what might suit? What if I pick something stupid, what if I have nothing to go with it? So I leave. Unfortunately I am a sufficiently odd shape that I really have to try stuff on and can’t order online. Sigh. Wish I could sew…..

  3. By Lorelle on Jan 25, 2008

    Glad you decided to take on one of my challenges.

    I used to have the same issues, especially over buying clothes. Then a friend of mine got some training as a fashion makeover consultant and I got to get a free makeover. I learned so much about what is right for my body shape and colors - the help was worth it, even if I’d paid for it as I still use the knowledge 15 years later. I completely avoid the junk I used to be attracted to but looked horrible and stay focused only on what’s right for me.

    Losing a ton of weight also helped as I now have a better body to put the clothes on, but the lessons stayed with me.

    Deciding for yourself sucks. Learning from an expert helps and teaches you how to make smarter decisions.

  4. By PrincessPolly on Jan 26, 2008

    I don’t mind shopping for clothes - occasionally. As long as I’m buying things I don’t need to try on (like tops) and going at a not-too-busy time. But at the moment I know I need a couple of pairs of new jeans as mine are all falling apart and so I HAVE to buy these in an actual shop, not online, and I’ll HAVE to try them on, cos you can’t just guess with jeans. Dreading it. I actually hate food shopping more though. I find it a nightmare.

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