Later
I’ve been totally uninspired lately, and haven’t had a clue what to blog about. Today I’m really fed up with myself. I feel lazy but it’s silly really because if I think about it properly and sensibly (which I’m incapable of doing sometimes), I would see that I’ve been productive so far this week. I started exercising again on Monday and would have done more yesterday if my muscles didn’t hurt so much! I’ve kept the house reasonably tidy, and today I started up the decorating again.
Yesterday I slobbed out and ate rubbish, so I suppose I feel a bit guilty about that. I wish I could be more disciplined and not slip into pointless habits like that. I wish I could remember that the things I put off – like exercising – are the things I really enjoy and are the things that make my life better. I wish I didn’t look at myself and think ‘you’re fat and you’re crap and you’ll never change so why bother trying’. When it comes to losing weight, I wish I would believe that I will change if I just get on with it and keep going. I’ve done it before but something in me keeps saying it might not work this time. It’s foolish to think that way; I’m a human being, and losing weight is all just science!
At the beginning of the month I wrote a huge list of things I want to achieve this year. For some reason though, I have it in my mind that the things on my list can be done ‘later’. I’ve always thought like this and that’s why I never get things done. Why can’t I realise that there is no ‘later’? Not in my world anyway! ‘Later’ is just a word that keeps me lazy and in denial.
When I was working, I dreamt of the day I could be in my house in the country, doing all these cool things like spending time in my own garden, getting fit, cooking. But I seem to have turned all these things into chores and I don’t look forward to any of them, even though I enjoy them when I eventually get round to them. I just waste time messing around. Why am I so unenthusiastic? I’m not always but I am a lot of the time and it’s pathetic. I think this post is my idea of a pep talk. Pull yourself together girl!!!!
3 Responses to “Later”
By pat on Jan 16, 2008
This time of the year everything, except cosying up, seems like a chore. Roll on the Spring
By Loth on Jan 16, 2008
Ah, procrastination, my favourite sport! I think, like Pat, it is a lot to do with the January blues which seem particularly bad this year. However, I noticed that it was significantly lighter when I hauled my carcass into work this morning so things may be on the up. A bit more sunlight may help! Chin up (or I’ll come down there and stand over you like a sergeant-major!)
By PrincessPolly on Jan 16, 2008
I suppose the word “later” is a lot like “tomorrow” - neither of them ever come. I’m exactly the same though so I can’t really give you a pep talk - we both just need to get our arses into gear and do what we say we’re gonna do, dammit!!!