Slump of failure
James goes back to work tomorrow after three weeks off, and even though I don’t have a job to go to, I still have that same feeling of dread that I used to have before going back to work after a long holiday. What’s that all about? January used to mean dark, cold early mornings waiting at a bus stop, getting on a packed bus, sitting in traffic for an hour, working in an office full of other depressed people, leaving the office in the dark, etc… and I still seem to be anticipating it. I need to feel grateful that I don’t have to do that anymore.
I’ll miss spending so much time with James. It’s nice when we’re together; we don’t always have to talk or go out or do anything typically ‘fun’ - we just spend time in each other’s company and say to each other (unprovoked) ‘oh yes please, I’d LOVE one’ when we want a cup of tea.
I can’t remember what it’s like to be alone all day. What if I hate it? I want to be better at life this year too and I’m scared that if I don’t start off well tomorrow (which is very likely considering that I’ll have to adjust to getting up at 7am instead of 11am), I’ll just give up and sit around in a slump of failure.
6 Responses to “Slump of failure”
By verybadcat on Jan 7, 2008
To some extent, you are going back to your work- the routine of the work week in your home. Plus, I hate the intrusion of routine on my peaceful downtime with my husband; surely that’s part of what you’re anticipating. I think it’s perfectly normal. Good luck tomorrow!
By pat on Jan 7, 2008
It’s strange even though I am not at work I still have a kind of excited cosy feel on Friday evenings that I used to have. The weekends shouldn’t mean that to me now. Humans are strange.
By Loth on Jan 7, 2008
If I can get rid of this pesky lawyering job, I’ll come round and keep you company. And yes please, I’d love one!(Milk, no sugar)
PS You’ll be fine, I’m sure!
By John Pearson on Jan 7, 2008
Hang in there.
I have made 2 resolutions - lose 2 stone and get one of my photographs printed in the local newspaper’s Picture of the Day feature.
However I will not being attempting the weight lose one until at least February though because the gym here at work is ‘mobbed oot the door’ and January is not a nice time to be starving and tired
By James Pearson on Jan 7, 2008
Yup, back to work for the both of us. But I don’t know about you, it does feel familiar to be back in the routine, which is vaguely comforting!
But dramatically changing my sleep pattern is HARD. I’m so tired
By Lynsey on Jan 7, 2008
Thanks for the really nice comments, everyone. You all cheered me up!
I’ve done fine today considering I got about three hours sleep last night!