Tales from Falsidehill

Relaxed

Something weird is going on with me just now. An unfamiliar feeling. I’m relaxed. It must be all the exercising I’ve been doing lately. It’s incredible! James gave my shoulders a rub the other day and I was mighty confused when I realised I didn’t have any tension. I’ve had tension in my back and shoulders every day for months (even years). Don’t ask me why – I’m weird like that. I’m possibly the only person in the world who can be tense when all I need to do is be at home. Maybe I just got used to feeling that way and needed something to shake me out of it.

Exercising seems to be taking the edge off my anxiety in general. I knew it would but I wasn’t sure how long it would take. I keep thinking that if I had only kept exercising then maybe my whole panic attack thing never would have happened in the first place. But in a way – and I can’t believe I’m going to say it – I’m glad it happened. Okay, I don’t think ‘glad’ is the right word but I’m happy with the way I’m beginning to feel now and I don’t think I ever would have felt this way if I hadn’t felt so bad before.

So here I am writing about how much exercising is improving my life but I’ve missed out my running today and I didn’t exercise at all yesterday. Not official exercise anyway. Yesterday I knackered myself decorating, and today we spent hours wandering around B&Q. Have I ever said how much I hate B&Q? Most times I send James there on his own, but today I needed to choose paint testers, and boys can’t be trusted to do that alone. I’ll be back on track with my running tomorrow.